Pitiful Creatures
by SAIgirl24
Summary: After making your escape with your fellow Titan shifters, your small party plans on how to get back home. How will others receive you upon your return? Especially since your mission is not complete. But after losing half of your friends, and your lover, in the process, you seek comfort that is long over due. Bertolt x Reader.


_A/N: **SPOILER WARNING** FOR CH. 44 (Manga) OR SEASON 1 (Anime-full season) AND BEYOND. This idea has been eating away at me for a few days now and is the reason that I haven't gotten anything else done that needed to be (like my Levi x Reader request). But here you go. Some Bertolot feels with implied Marco. After reading some theories I have a strong feeling that Marco was/is-IF he's alive- somehow involved with our Titan Shifter trio. To what extent exactly...well this is just a little slice of one of my personal theories._

_Please let me know what you think! I don't own any AoT/Snk Characters or you!_

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_**Ptitful Creatures**_

_Bertolt x Reader_

_~*~Prolouge~*~_

"You really think that we're lost?" your voice was soft, but the tone dripped with the hatred and anger that you were harboring towards me. From our original party of 6 young warriors we were down to three. Marcel and Marco were dead, and Annie was trapped in some sort of crystal. I couldn't believe that it had only been roughly 5 ½ years since our mission began. While it wasn't complete we wanted to come home, and that was just a little bit further away. Even with Ymir now having joined us, we needed rest before we could finish the journey. Reiner and Ymir were out scouting for any safer means of lodging for the night. And if we were really lucky something to eat. I sat on the wall that I had kicked the first hole through in Shiganshina district, and you stood a few meters in front of me looking towards the land beyond. I still don't understand how we had managed to do and to live through everything thus far. Marcel never made it to the wall, but his sacrifice helped ensure that the 5 of us did. Then escaping the area of Wall Maria unharmed after being so close to the non-shifting Titians, was another miracle. Even though Reiner and I had stayed behind to ensure that the wall was breached, and you, Annie, and Marco slipped into the world of humans, I couldn't help but fear for your safety. I loved you after all. Then the battle for Trost had my heart and soul in a near contant panic. Not because of the Titans, but you had run off and were missing for its entirety. Afterward you stayed with the Garrison, determined to stick to the plan. I knew that wasn't the reason and soon you transferred to the Scouting Legion. Thankfully you were ordered to stay at HQ for the first expedition. Trying to get Eren for the first time had gone so wrong, Annie made such a mess of exposing who she was. It was just a matter of time before the rest of us were found out. However I had never been more afraid for you then the most recent events at that castle. Having my mind wonder and replay the events of the past seemed the only way that I kept myself from splitting like Reiner's seemed to be. He had created a second personality. His human side and his Shifter side. We never fully identified as Titans; or at least I never did. I knew that you didn't either. I had been so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice you had finally made your way over to me, crouching down to look at my face. The intensity of the fire within your irises made me cringe and start to sweat. I both loved and feared the way you would look at me. If only I could remove the hate and the pain.

"Answer me Bertolt," I knew that my outburst as we tried to make our escape would come back to bite me. You didn't like the idea of being lost in this world. Going into our plan you had always known it was a risk. But unlike the rest of us, you did have an easier time of navigating your emotions and your intentions. I guess it helps when you've been awake longer and had someone to help reign in the access emotions that our human side produced. However, ever since Marco died you had been different. The cool and calm composure you had would falter when you thought no one was looking. The fact that I could hear you cry in the next room and call out his name is what started my own personal madness to loom over me. It broke my heart to see you in this much pain; to see you finally starting to slip into the same madness that we all began to display.

"[First]," I tried to start but the words just wouldn't come to my lips. Marco wanted me to protect you, the lover that he'd had for nearly 35 years outside the walls, if anything should happen to him on this mission. I still don't understand why he asked me. Reiner would have been a much better match for you. He was a protector, time and again he has shown that. But the real question was how could I keep that promise when you hated me so much? I knew you blamed me and Annie for Marco's death in Trost. Even though you were never sure if it was intentional or an accident you still placed blame. I had defied your orders to hold off on breaching the outer gate of the city, and followed Annie's, and that made me guilty.

My gaze darted back to the ground, avoiding yours from being unable to answer. Roughly you gripped my jaw and forced me to look at you. Hot tears were streaming down your [s/c] cheeks and my breath hitched. My friend would be so disappointed that I let him down. I wasn't helping you cope or giving you comfort like I promised. Instead I've seemed to have made you cry. In all the time I've known you, you have never once let us see this part of you. I've heard you before, but Marco had been the only one to see, he was your lover until the end. I could never fill his shoes.

"Say something. _Do_ something, Bertl. Anything just…ANSWER ME GOD DAMNIT!" you screamed, "Are we truly lost?" I couldn't help but nod. We were, ever so slowly we were losing ourselves, and your decent just started. Sighing, you loosened your grip on my jaw, moving it to one side, and reached your other hand out to cup my face. The gesture was so different and your eyes shifted to having warmth that hadn't been there seconds before. I didn't know what to do. You continued to hold my gaze, our eyes locked. Your orbs bored into what felt like the depths of my very being. Oh how I wished you could see how much I love you. How I want to make everything better for you. That is my reason for wanting to go home after all. Even if Marco didn't ask and have me promise to take care of you I would have done everything in my power to make it so. I want you to be truly happy again.

"I'm so sorry," you sank down to your knees as the sobs started. Your hands dropped and trailed down my frame coming to rest on my knees. It would be a lie to say that the sensation of your hands didn't cause a slightly pleasurable shiver to dance over me. "Why did he leave me?" my head dropped at the loss of your eyes, " Bertolt, I don't want to be lost and alone. Not here. Not in this world." It was my name on your lips that caused me to look at you again, but the pleading of your voice made my arms reach out. I felt as if something else were guiding them, and before I could think better of it your body was in my lap as I held your shuddering form close.

"You may be lost, but you're not alone," I smoothed your hair down and placed a light kiss on your temple. You wrapped your arms around my waist and cried harder onto my chest.

'Thank you for the push Marco. I'm sorry it took me so long,' I kissed your forehead and continued to run my fingers through your hair. I knew that the action always calmed you down when I watched you with Marco. After a while I didn't care that my own tears had started, or that we held onto each other for what seemed like hours. All I cared about was that you were there in my arms and that we would be home soon.


End file.
